Lazy Job - End of the Embarrassment

The busy moments at my job are at the very beginning and at the very end of the shift. When the day starts, it doesn't really matter because everyone is still asleep, still (no wonder, they get here at 5:45am). When the shift is over, however, this is when things get wild (not really). I don't know if you even noticed, but schools are fucking scary at night, when there's nobody else in it. One of the schools I worked in (École Secondaire d'Oka) served as a set for the horror movie "Gothika", to give you an idea.

So when all the construction dudes decide it's time for them to hit the road, I have to be the last one to get out, and I need to check every window, every door, every light after they're gone. You're going to tell me it's not a big deal, but it can really turn into a complex situation, sometimes. Here are a few examples.

Yesterday, as I was getting ready to go, I closed the few last doors, as I always do. Here's the thing though, it's not very often that they have fresh paint on these doors. So what do you know, as I held the door to close it, my hands became blue. The sort of paint they use for these schools is the mean stuff. It doesn't go away with only soap and water! So I ran around the school, trying to find paint solvent to get it off my hands(painters always carry a few bottles because it's a messy job, after all), as I learned when I was painting schools last year. My hands ended up smelling horrible, but at least they were skin-colored again.

Two years ago, as I was closing up the thousands of windows in this horror movie-themed high school, a freakin' bird came inside the school! I couldn't let the thing inside, as there would have been bird shit all over the freshly waxed floors the next morning. So I spent about half an hour chasing the winged one through the corridors, progressively blocking its way deeper into the school, towards the nearest exit. That day, I learned birds didn't have a very good knowledge of what exits look like, and what they mean when a human is chasing you. Damn you, bird! Oh well, I guess I got paid overtime for dealing with that silly business.

The same year, I was unlocking the elevator for some construction dude, since he had to get his equipment up a few floors. Usually, to call the elevator, you need to insert the key, turn it, and press the button (so that regular students can't mess with it), then, to lock the doors open, you have to turn the key in the lock inside the elevator. For some reason, when I turned the key inside the elevator to lock the doors open, they closed as I got out to ask the construction dude if he needed anything else, locking my keys inside the elevator. Of course, there was no way to call it back, since I needed that key to do so... So I started freaking out, desperately trying to find another key set. No luck. I then told the construction dudes I had no way to get their stock back down at the end of the day, as I locked the keys inside the elevator. One of the guys said he might be able to help me. He got his tools and opened the button plate. Turns out he was able to rig the wires to make the setup think I just turned the key. The elevator arrived and I got my keys back. These construction guys are awesome.

Last year, I was doing late night shifts in another high school. As I was turning on the alarm systems, I suddenly felt like the floor was moving a little under my feet. Fuck. I was walking on fleshly installed tiles! Of course, they moved a lot, and I knew they would have to start over if the cement hardened like that. I had to lie down and meticulously replace each tile, which is crazy hard to do, especially when you have no experience (hello!). All I have to say is, I must have done a pretty good job, as they never noticed the following morning.

I seem to screw up a lot, even with an incredibly easy job, but it's never anything really bad, thank Robotsk!