Sunday, April 20, 2008

Dealing with arachnids

I don't like spiders

Yesterday, I was happily procrastinating, when suddenly I saw something move in a dark corner, near my 4 port USB hub. Intrigued, I decided to turn on the lights. Just as I feared: it was a spider.

I decided to throw everything off the desk, to get a clean hit at it. I looked around, I needed a weapon. Laptop? Not worth destroying it. A fork? Might be hard to actually hit the spider. My hand? Eww. That's when I saw the water bottle. Perfectly shaped to kill a spider, if you miss on the first shot, you can always roll over it, squeezing the life out of the beast. I prepared myself mentally, having a plan for each and every direction the spider could go if I missed my first strike. I killed it. Yes, finally.

Just as I came back from throwing out the kleenex with the dead spider in it, I put back some of the things I had tossed earlier. What's this...? Another fucking spider. Great, just great. But this spider was wiser. It decided to go under my laptop, a fragile object I couldn't just toss away. I had to study its movements, to have the avantage of the surprise attack! I tried to move the laptop just a little bit, so that the spider would run away. Nothing. I lifted the laptop, expecting a similar reaction. The spider had some nerves, just standing there, mocking me. So I killed it, with the SAME water bottle.

Matsam 2, spiders 0.

"The spider is mugging you, it wants crack."

3 comments:

Zeefer said...

I had a le disaster with le french comment last time, so I'm leaving for you, le matsam, a le english comment now. The l'internote was excellent.

Anonymous said...

All this trouble for a tiny, little, cute (ok...maybe not cute...)spider... What would you done happen if, instead of a baby spider, it was a MONSTROUS tarentula? .....I think that, in this horrible case, the laptop would have been use like a weapon, no? ;-)

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! THE SPIDER IS MUGGING YOU, IT WANTS CRACK! HAHAHA

COMPLETE CONTROLE! NICE SHIT DUDE

I hate fucking spiders, Yesterday I had one flotting in the air in my fuckin bathroom sink. -Jesus christ! I said. Then i yeld: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

HAHA That's my secret attack for spiders, my mom.